... when they told me I had had cancer 8-10 years I couldn't connect with the illness. I told my doctors that just because I now knew that I had cancer for ten years didn't mean I was going to stop being happy! So I began treatment with a positive attitude...
Being mystical by nature but also having an inquiring mind I was praying to the Universe that I would not have to go through treatment and was searching through alternative therapies. The doctor was strongly against this and said I would be dead if I chose alternative. That was a strong fear message and I wondered why he didn't just say "let's try everything!". He said I had an aggressive cancer and needed surgery, 3 months of chemotherapy (Adriamyicin and Taxol, a bit higher than normal dose), stem cell rescue and 6000 rads of radiation. I started praying and decided to begin acupuncture. My acupuncturist (I called him my "real" doctor) knew how to treat cancer patients. He suggested I lower my high stress levels by taking his Mind Body Stress Reduction program which entailed a little yoga, meditation and a body scan (1 hour a day). I brought my stress levels down 60%. I also chose a macrobiotic diet for breast cancer (Michio Kushi, The Cancer Prevention Diet) and cut out dairy, red meats and animal fats, sugar, stimulants and foods that create mucus.
Then I went into surgery. The surgeon did not believe in mastectomy. She said cancer cells are left in the body anyway. Her specialty was large breast tumors and I am grateful for a small scar only 1.5 inches long! She took out a tumor from my right breast the size of an orange and found 21 out of 23 lymph nodes positive. She had to sever the nerve in my right arm to get the lymph nodes. I was diagnosed with a Grade 1 slow growing cancer, ductal carcinoma, Stage 3 Advanced breast cancer. I stopped chemotherapy after the first week to research more alternatives. The doctor was alarmed saying no-one stops chemo, but I insisted I needed 2 weeks to do more research on alternatives. He did say I had a slow growing cancer so I figured I could take off two weeks. But I could not find anything that would (note) convince my MIND that something other would work, so I continued treatment.
I sailed through 3 months of chemo with no nausea, a good appetite, no diarrhea and my blood counts stayed normal! I attribute this to acupuncture (balancing of CHI) and his MBSR program (also balancing CHI). The nurses were amazed that my blood counts stayed normal. Then after a short break, I started stem cell rescue. Meanwhile I made a cassette of "Don't Worry Be Happy" by Bobbi McFerrin and played it continuously daily to keep my spirits up. Stem cell rescue is a rigorous and dangerous procedure. I insisted in going as an outpatient to the clinic. I did not choose to be in the hospital because I thought I might be more vulnerable to infection there. This time they take out 5 bags of induced harvest of stem cells through a port in my neck and freeze them. Then they give me 3 High Dose Chemo drugs a day, 8 hours a day, for 2 days. After that supposedly a majority of cancer cells (IF they are there, they really can't measure) are killed off (as well as all fast growing cells like the lining of my digestive system and white blood cells!) and they give me back the stem cells, hopefully "new blood". A good plan but unfortunately many die from the procedure.
I got nauseas, fainted twice, couldn't eat, got endless nosebleeds and internal bleeding. But I laughed the whole way through it! It was so bizarre and so outside my experience as an athlete and healthy person I just couldn't relate to it. After the High Dose Chemo they give the stem cells back and it takes 10 days for the new blood to function. On the ninth day I got a slight fever. Because my white blood cell counts were below 50 (and maybe 1, since they cannot measure below 50!) I had no way to protect myself from infection so I was put into the hospital. The nurses there said it was unheard of to come in on the ninth day!
In the hospital, they told me I would be there a month and a half or two before my blood counts would rise to a safe level. I was in an isolation room with red flags on the door to indicate I was neutropoenic and vulnerable to infection. So I could not have visitors and would be alone a lot. I said to myself, I can do this, and proceeded to fix up my room. It was 10 o'clock at night. All was quiet and I went into the bathroom to wash from the sink. I looked into the mirror and I saw Tweetie Bird. I was bald for the second time, had lost 12 pounds, had dark hollows under my eyes and pale skin. In that moment a miracle happened.
My mother was unable to give me unconditional love. When I was 2 months old she threw me around. Where does the fear go? Into the cells and it stays locked there until someday I give myself that unconditional love. I believe this is the underlying condition that was my dis-ease. I needed to really love me. In that moment I felt this deep compassion for my body. Tears came down my cheeks as I slowly and gently bathed my body the way a mother would bathe an infant. I pressed the hot washcloth against my skin with love and compassion. Each touch was full of CHI. (I was doing Chi-Lel and did not know it yet.) Afterwards I felt lighter and happy. I went to bed and I said to the Universe: "I know I will get through this, and when I do I want to help with healing others. There are too many people suffering through cancer treatment. I want to help. Show me how and I will do it. My life will feel totally fulfilled." Then I went to sleep and I had a dream. The Dalai Lama came to me in a tall triangular crystal. He had his hands in a praying position and looked up at me and said "Now Ginny, remember, BE JOYFUL!" I woke up at sunrise that morning feeling energetic and happy. I danced around the room singing "Don't Worry Be Happy". The nurse came in and took my blood as usual. The Italian doctor came in to check the report. He threw his hands up into the air in surprise exclaiming "WHAT!?" and the nurses came running. He said "Yesterday her white blood cell counts were 600, now they are 13,000! How can that be?" The nurses said they [h]ad see[n] stem cell rescue patients for 5 years and had never seen this! The next day my counts were 22, 000 and I was sent home. I was in the hospital a total of 4 days! How do I explain this? I believe it was CHI.
After this two people in my cancer support group went through the same procedure. They both died.
Recovering from this I still believed that my body could heal itself. I was looking for a common denominator that could heal my immune system. When you ask you get an answer. A friend said to try Spinal Qigong. She had had a uterine tumor (malignant) 15 years ago. She was taught by the top master in the USA and she practiced 5 hours a day. In two months she went through a lot of pain but her tumor disappeared completely. She continued to practice for 2 years. She never did any other treatment. To this day she is cancer-free.
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